flowers in the attic

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

so, school's finally started and here i am attempting an entry (because the lan cable in my room, or maybe just the entire NTUnet, appears to be quite screwed up for the past few nights).

school's not as bad as i dreaded it would be, at least the company i have for lectures and tutorials are great and bitching is fun :D

assignments are slowly but surely coming our way, and i'm beginning to feel the heat of things, which is not that bad really, because i like having things to do.

because having things to do makes me feel busy and i like feeling busy, and because it keeps me from thinking about stupid things, which inevitably comes out when i blog because you are suppose to feel your rawest when you blog.

it amazes me still that unlike what they say, guys are not the only ones who can draw a distinct clear line between love and something else. i would like to stand up, clear my throat, and look at you straight in the face and shout, "get over it already because it is not even affecting me that much. i don't even give much of a fucking damn about it, but maybe it is good that you think it affects me somewhat because at least then it gives me a semblance of humanity. at least you think that i am affected by you but really, i am not. whether anything happens or continues or not doesn't really matter much to me anyway, thank you very much."

but then of course, i can't quite do that because firstly, i don't really like to shout, and secondly, i would still prefer that you think i am quite affected, because maybe then it makes you feel guilty about it.

but then again, i don't really care.

the other day i was slightly amused when, at a supermarket with the family, both the mother and the sister and two of the sales assistant there were mobilised to help me look for sour cream while i just looked on.

family is love <3

❤ enhui, 10:07 PM 0 comments