Monday, March 17, 2008
a (sort of) new layout!
had the previous one for more than a year now, and i think it's only time for a change.
i need all the time in the world i could possibly have, really. i am currently in desperate need of being really frivolous and bimbotic (!) for awhile. i need to shop! buy shoes, go for a manicure/pedicure (the previous pedicure i did about a month ago is peeling already!), shop for clothes, eat good food and just play ! it's been far too long, and i can not afford much time to do the abovementioned because school is killing me and exams are approaching. i seriously need to buck up!
❤i know i may be slow - seems like
everyone has seen it except me - but
THIS completely touched and warmed my heart a few days ago. it reminded me of me, and it made me cry! i am once again in awe of His grace and His mercies, once again reminded that however far we drift away, He is always willing to take us back, always willing to forgive.
and this is why i love Him so.what i need to do right now, is to find it within myself to forgive myself.
if you ask me to describe my past, i would probably give a sweeping statement of sorts - probably because details are so not my thing, but more so because i choose to overlook and block out all the unhappiness, all my mistakes and failures and weaknesses. sometimes i forget and i
remember, and i only hate myself so much for what i allowed myself to do, what i allowed myself to go through and engage in, even though i knew that it would kill myself emotionally, and that it would cause me to drift away even further from Him.
but He is good, all the time. right now there
are regrets - regrets of what should not have been and what could have been, but i know i'm forgiven. and if God can forgive me of the terrible things i have done, if He could send His Son down to die for my sins on the cross, there is no reason why i should hold on to the past and not forgive myself.
for His blood has washed me as white as snow.
❤ enhui, 4:33 AM
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