flowers in the attic

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

i can't believe it's already May - oh glorious May, how i have waited for thee! June will so be my ultimate best friend....

though time is becoming this very abstract thing to me, it's like i keep looking forward to June 19 that i'm constantly mentally fast-forwarding time, such that i lose track of time. May means five months have flown by yet at the same time i still wonder why it is taking so long. May also saw the removal of my p-plate from the car (yayness!) and more significantly, a year's worth of voyage with the boy (that to be up another time).

at the same time, i can no longer grasp the concept of being a student - school and holidays seem completely foreign and alien to me right now. everyday it's the same old cubicle in the same old air conditioned office doing the same old thing... even where i enter the train every morning is at the exact same spot. my goodness the mundaneness of it all is KILLING ME. it was so bad that at the time when the government raised the Swine Flu alert to Orange i was hoping that offices will be closed down, or something drastic will happen just so i can escape the drudgery of it all.

especially so that the semester has officially ended for the universities, but the fact that we're still out here on our internships... just feels so surreal. i can't quite imagine how it's like to be a student anymore going for lectures and attending tutorials. i so miss seeing young people dressed in shorts and flip-flops and singlets la, over here the average age is probably 35 and people are always dressed up in their business suits and (in joanne's words) kok-kok heels. (i always wonder what's so amazing about the sound produced by heels, does it actually make people feel better about themselves?? i've been wearing casual and flats to work most of the time nowadays - screw business wear)

it scares me that i'll be graduating next year almost exactly a year from now, and i'll be thrown into the wilderness that is the corporate jungle. this might raise a few eyebrows but i'm glad that i did three years in jc instead of two, that i had to retake my promos only 'cos i can come out into the working world a tad later. this is always something that i look back on and thank God how it all worked out, even though at that point of time i was probably confused and disappointed at my results. add to the fact that precisely cos i entered uni a year later that i could meet jon, and how i can escape graduating this year during the bad economy, and the list goes on...

i know i should probably look at this whole thing better and try to learn as much as i can and appreciate that i'm given this opportunity to intern - yes, i'm appreciative but six months is too long. three months would have worked better, and i'm a person who cannot feel confined or restrained for too long doing the same old boring thing, i'll tend to rebel and fight my way out. i admire the schoolmates who have gotten themselves a great internship where they get to help out in a spectrum of things and actually have a say, and have fellow interns with them and actually feel a sense of belonging to their department. i especially admire the interns like jingting who has gotten out so many cover stories and where her colleagues actually treat her as a fellow journalist and not as an intern. you have to admit that being an intern is the lowest in the office hierarchy.

bottomline - i don't advocate internship and i can't wait to go back to school and embrace my life as a student, even if it's only for a year. at least it feels good that i've settled my fyp group and we've started discussing and contacting profs... so that at least i still feel like a student somehow.

❤ enhui, 9:57 AM 0 comments