❤
"My favourite thing
is to go where
I've never been."
- Diane Arbus
❤
it is so much easier to open a new window and load ugly betty than to write in this space. it is so much easier to pretend all these feelings do not exist. verbal diarrhea may be good for the soul, or maybe not (?). i look back at who i was and i look at who i am and i wonder if the me now is any better or any worse. i look back and wonder if i should do a reflection for the year gone by, of the six months spent in internship and the first semester of my final year and i wonder if i would be any happier being in another part of the world and i wonder if next week would be any different. the purple flowers in the pot i bought home have withered and i did not even realise. occasionally thoughts of the future come drifting into my consciousness and i get so scared. i wish i had the courage to do what my heart desires or the integrity enough to do what is required - i wish but i am lacking. why is it that growing up (old) is never easy? i will be almost a quarter century old in three days time but i will always feel like i'm forever twenty two. the dawn of a new year, frankly, doesn't mean anything to me. it is just another day, just a flip of a page in the calender, just like any other day. now onward to ugly betty.
...
a wild flower dies
where it blooms
so let me be
a wild flower
its death shall be
the fading of beauty
-suchoon mo