flowers in the attic

Sunday, July 18, 2010

i really don't understand some things afterall... i just have to vent my feelings somewhere.

how can some people, some old friends just change 180 degrees so completely and forget about the good times we had, the times we spent going to each other's house playing the piano, and hanging out, and gushing over boys? the times where we wrote in a notebook to each other to keep in touch when we went to different schools, and i could call you at any time of the day to chat and ask you out and we could go almost anywhere together? where your parents knew me and mine you since we were at each other's house so often? why is it that now, i can only know about your life through the rare updates on Facebook or if i SMSed you first or chat with you first online; or if i did something first, anything.

why is it that i seem to be the one making all the effort and you always, always rejecting going out citing busyness as a reason or that you have got work to do? but girl, everyone is busy, everyone has got work to do. if you reject me once or twice, it's fine you know? but then you never ever initiate meeting up after that. i'm always the one asking you, almost begging you to go out. i really don't understand this. is it true afterall that some friendships will not withstand the test of time? i really don't know what to do about this - i can be nonchalant and treat it as one of those things in life that i have no control over and move on, but damn i cannot, i'm too sentimental for my own good and that kinda sucks. i keep hoping that things will change, that the situation will improve and that we will go back to what we once were, but i'm being too naive, aren't i? i'm being too idealistic, huh.

i know things change and people change; and for that, i grieve.

maybe spending quality time is not your forte or your "love language", maybe giving gifts are; but dear girl, i need more than that, i believe most of us do, most of us need to spend time with loved ones and friends to feel that bond. but maybe i really should move on, as you apparently have, and not insist on rekindling the dying flame.

but i still hope, and i wish you well; for you had been one of my best friends in my life.

❤ enhui, 3:46 AM 4 comments