flowers in the attic

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

i can't sleep and i'm not happy and this is not exactly cause and effect, though each may have something to do with the other. i dislike it when i make bad decisions - most of the time they are nothing major and affects no one else but me but it just makes me feel stupid and useless and wonder why i lack foresight. one would think that since i'm a "working adult" now i would be wiser and better but no i still feel essentially the same, making stupid mistakes and trying to find my place in the world. and what's worse, i feel like my friends are slipping away, one by one. either i can't be bothered or they can't be bothered, or we just can't be bothered altogether. otherwise it's because i realise i deserve better and i don't need to retain friendships which are just not worth it anymore. that is why i'm thankful that the colleagues at work are such wonderful people - hey i lose some, i gain some. and it's icing on the cake that i'm loving work more and more each day- i'm blessed with a great and patient boss and i love what i do. i just need to get better at what i'm doing, and be more confident of myself, and to keep going even when the going gets tough. because i know where i'm headed...now if only i can finally get some sleep right now.

❤ enhui, 1:07 AM 1 comments